Everybody Loves Your Money

In case you were wondering:

Writing “bullshiat money grab” on your parking ticket and then sending it in with your payment could very well get you a real court date in front of a real judge.  Apparently they consider that “contempt of court”.

http://www.local6.com/news/9430721/detail.html

I confess. I’m a little confused at the rationale of Apple right now. If you are going to go to the trouble of opening retail stores to better serve your customer and you are also offering a warranty on your products, why would you risk the negative customer response when you ask them to pay shipping for a device that is right in front of them?

I agree with the poster of this article. They know they have you over the barrel. Giving them $30 for refurb Ipod Nano is better than keeping your old broken one. Arrggghh. Those pesky Apple guys!!!

http://www.johnbatdorf.net/blog

Wow.  I like to read some message boards that cover some of the things I own.  I’ve found a few good tips about my truck and about my old Seadoo.  (in fact, it’s saved me a ton of money because I was able to find the information I needed to repair my Seadoo myself).

Anyway, I happened to run across this post.  It’s a guy talking about putting a “lift” on his truck.  I have pasted the paragraph that caught my attention below.  I guess I just find it interesting that he filed a lawsuit against someone for medical bills etc, and then confesses that he spent some of the money buying a new truck and putting a lift on it.

Here is the paragraph from the message board post:

“Ok well ive got a NOVEL for you guys, but if you don’t care for the read, just scroll down for the pics. I’m writing this much shit because…. deciding on which lift to pick took a lot of work and lot of long nights reading on the different forums. So it means a lot to me. OK It has been almost a year since I got into my big accident with my Honda CRV. This sixteen old girl ran a red light and t-boned my mini-suv. My girlfriend and I rolled once. I got stitches on my foot and developed back and neck problems. Even though im only 20 I never drove all crazy like that when I first got my license. Ok well, what do Americans do best?….file lawsuits. Even though it sounds bad, I sued the girl because I wasn’t gonna pay all those medical bills all by myself and buy a new car. Ok well I got the new 05 Tacoma last summer and it was great. After I won the lawsuit I decided to use the money for mods, and the first thing I wanted was a lift. Just a brief history, so ppl wont think im a spoiled little brat and think mommy and daddy paid for this lift. Of course my stingy Filipino parents told me to put it in a savings/interest account so it can earn money but F*ck that ill earn like 2 cents every month =P when they saw my lift they flipped out but its MY money, so whatev. Ok on to the story”

There is no question that my weakness in life has been automobiles.  I just love them.  There is also no question that nothing has had a higher impact on my net worth.  Due to the crazy housing market, there is no question that my house has helped me increase my net worth significantly.  Sure, there have been expenses to deal with, but I’ve still seen a higher appreciation rate than it cost me to be here.  On the housing, I have no regrets.

Cars are a completely different story.  It kills me to think about how much money I could have saved if I had continued to drive some of the old cars I’ve had.  I’ve justified buying the cars/trucks over the years by telling myself “live a little”.  While we are still doing pretty well on our net worth and finances, we could obviously be doing better.  Oh well.  I guess we do have to “live a little”.

Anyway, check out this article.  It’s worth reading:

http://www.thenewstribune.com/business/story/5870055p-5208605c.html

This guy in England didn’t want to spend the money on brake fluid for his car so he decided to just fill the brake reservoir with vegetable oil.  He had already rolled up an old carpet and used it as his front bumper.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006290137,00.html

When my wife and I got married, we talked about having kids and what we would do.  I would always say, “I think you should go back to work after we have a child” and she would always say, “Maybe I should be a stay at home mom”.  We would talk about it every now and then but we pretty much kept the same points of view.

Well, about three years ago, we had our first child.  It was a no brainer that my wife would stay home with our daughter for at least a couple years.  We both agreed that, since we had no debt (other than our mortgage) and had a nice solid cash flow each month, that it just made sense to live off of one income.  It helped that we were able to continue to aggressively fund my 401k and also fund a roth each year.  All in all, we definitely have no regrets.

Now some opportunities are starting to come up so that my wife could potentially get a job at my company.  It’s a large company and is very family friendly.  We would undoubtedly use the child care offered by my company (it has a VERY good reputation and is a bit more expensive but we feel it’s worth it).  The financial benefits for her going back to work are quite good:

-Matching 401K (75% match up to 8 percent)

-Fully funded pension

-Annual bonuses (so we’d double the yearly bonuses)

-Great salary

-Flexible hours and less than 20 minutes from our house

I’ll confess, I find myself drooling over the potential increase in our income/investments.  This would really be a decision more about increasing our net worth than about more cash flow.  Doubling all the benefits is huge.  I’ve run the numbers and we’d still be waaaaay ahead even with daycare figured in.

But alas, it’s not that easy.  There are all the non-financial considerations.  How would this impact our daughter?  How would it impact our relationship with her?  Would it help or hinder her early education?  Would it be a positive social impact for her?  And countless other things to think about.

So, here we sit.  Mulling over the options.  My wife has applied for a couple positions just to see what happens.  If she gets called and get’s a job offer, obviously we’ll have to have some pretty intense conversations about whether she should do it or not, but we’ve decided to cross that bridge when we come to it.  I have to admit, it’s a little hard thinking about someone else watching my daughter every day, but at the same time, it will only be a few more years before she is off to school anyway.  Maybe starting her in a structured program now will give her a good head start.

Just when I thought I was getting ripped off spending $45 per month on cable, I find out that there are a few more expensive plans out there.  For example, take the new Titanium service from DirectTV.

Here’s the deal.  You get every single channel they offer.  EVERYTHING.  Longing for some adult movies?  check.  Want to watch a specific sporting event?  Check.  How about HDTV?  Check.  Need 10 high definition DVR’s for your house?  Check.  And, because you never know what kind of assistance you’ll be needing while watching a high definition college sporting event with a porn movie in the picture in picture window, DirectTV also provides you with a 24X7 concierge service.  A what?  Yeah, that’s what I said.

So, if this sounds like a service that’s right up your alley, head on over to DirectTV and sign up.  You’ll have to pay for your service one year at a time, so be sure to transfer $7500 from your Emigrant Direct savings acct before you call.

I was going to link to this but figure that sooner or later Craigslist will be deleting this post so I just pasted it here.  I found this in the “Best of Craigslist” section:

“You want more barter offers? Here are ten ways, based on the many usual posts found in this section, to get more barters:

Pretend to be a Healer, a Psychic or have Healing Stones or some power. People love to think you’ve got some amazing power, like a super hero, and will trade just about anything for it. Of course if you really had such a power you wouldn’t be wasting your time trading it for a massage or a place to live in craigslist, you’d be on the cover of Time magazine, but most people are dumb. They’ll believe anything.

Wait until the very last minute to try and get rent money. If you have to pay your rent but have no money, wait until the end of the month to ask for it. Even though you know at the beginning of the month you probably won’t have it, waiting until the very end will pull on people’s heart strings. No, they won’t think you’re irresponsible! They’ll think of you as a loveable lug in desperate need of rent money. You’ll probably end up with more money than you can handle.

Claim you make a lot of money for your services. Pretend you make $200 a session for a massage or $150 an hour for webwork or $250 an hour for magical healing. People will be very impressed that you can demand so much for your services, they will be amazed that you’d be willing to trade those services for good to them. Of course, if you actually made those amounts, you wouldn’t have to make the trades, but people are dumb, they won’t realize it. The sky’s the limit as to what you can claim, so don’t be afraid. Think off all the stuff you can get when you claim you make $1000 an hour for lawn mowing!

Get a nice apartment or house for practically nothing. There are tons of landlords and people in LA who have a spare house or apartment or even a master bedroom they’d be willing to trade for someone to fix their website, walk their dogs or walk around their house in a Speedo. You’d be surprised at how easy it is to get a great place for doing nothing. Remember: people are dumb. They don’t know that fixing a website isn’t worth a $1000 a month or walking dogs isn’t worth giving up their guest house. Think of all the stupid people in this town who work for a living and pay rent! The suckers!

Post your barter as much as you can. Post it every day, three or four times a day if you can. This will not annoy anyone; in fact, it will show everyone how serious you are. People love to see someone with determination and the fact that you spend all your time reposting your barter will impress people, not irritate them.

Massages, massages, massages. Massages are very, very hard to come by. Offering massages can get you practically anything. A new car, house, computer, camera…you name it! And if you want to get even more stuff, mention you normally make $175 an hour for massages, even if you don’t have a license!

Always trade in your favor. Need a new computer? How about trading those unused flares in your trunk? Need a digital camera? What about that unused can of spam in the back of your cupboard? How about a new car? Offer your services of organizing papers! Remember, people are stupid. They will have no idea that you’re getting the better deal. It’s a craigslist barter staple: trade crap for something great!

People want sex! If you’re a lonely 35 year old carpet layer or plumber and still can’t get a girlfriend, always remember there are plenty of hot women in LA who need a new carpet in their bedroom and are more than willing to trade sex for it. Or maybe the bathroom sink won’t stop dripping. Most women will gladly give themselves up for someone to come fix it. Why waste money on a legit plumber or carpet person when they can have some total stranger who posts in craigslist for sex?

Nudity goes a long way! If you want something, just get naked! You can get anything. Need a $600 plane ticket? Just dance naked for three hours for someone! They won’t get bored! Who wouldn’t want to sit for three hours and watch a naked girl dance? Maybe you’re a 40 year old loser with a small winky-woo who likes to sunbathe in the backyard! Just offer that service! Maybe you just like to be naked period! You can get a house, a car…hey, the sky’s the limit when you like to be naked! Everyone wants to have a strange naked person in their house and will give up thousands of dollars worth of stuff for the privilege.

A complete lack of spelling and grammar will help you get more offers. Write like a third grader! People love it when they have to read your barter numerous times to try and decipher what you’re looking for! It’s even better if you’re trading “writing services!” Remember, the stupider you appear, the more offers you’ll get!”

I quit drinking coffee.  In fact, I’ve even quit drinking caffeine.  The hardest part about doing this was missing out on my morning cup of coffee.  In order to get through this challenge, I decided to start drinking decaf tea.  There’s only one problem with drinking decaf tea when you are out and about.  Nobody seems to carry it.  Starbucks doesn’t even have black decaf tea.  (They only have real black tea, or some funky flavors).

So, what’s a guy to do?  I put some decaf teabags in my work bag.  Now, when I walk in to the cafeteria at my company, I just get a hot cup of water and the lady says, “No charge” every day.  I hadn’t intended to try to get a free cup of hot water every day, but it is turning out to save me about $1.50 every day.  I haven’t tried to get a cup of hot water at Starbucks, but I bet they either charge me a tiny cup fee, or don’t charge me at all.

That’s a savings of up to $30 per month.

Holy crap!!  This couple paid for all 12 of their kids to go through private schools and 4 year colleges.  I guess I should be happy that I don’t have 12 kids.

I’d be very interested to know what he does for a living and whether they have a retirement account for themselves.  That’s a lot of money!

http://www.nbc11.com/news/9394432/detail.html