Everybody Loves Your Money

Awhile back I posted about a supposed promotion at a California dealership by a guy named Glen Fergusson.  The story went that Glen hadn’t been at the dealership too long and wasn’t very good at math.  Glen supposedly gave away 18 Porsches before the owner of the dealership caught on, canceled the promotion and fired Glen.  Old Glen was going to be in big trouble as the dealership worked to recover the losses from this ill fated promotion.

Well, it was all a fake!  I did some checking and found that this story was fabricated by a writer at the New Zealand based “Stuffed” humor site.

You can see the explanation on Snopes here:

http://www.snopes.com/business/deals/porsche.asp

You can see the original article on Stuffed at:

http://www.stuffed.co.nz

I was browsing through personal finance articles and came upon this recent article by Rodney Sessions on net worth (in the Hattiesburg American).  Rodney spends the majority of the article asking why we shouldn’t consider other things as part of our net worth.  I’m not sure Rodney understands the point of calculating your net worth.  He seems to be implying that people’s net worth is somehow a measure of how great, or terrible they are.  He uses the example of three CEO’s that made $100 million last year.  He asks what their “true net worth is”.  Again, I’m not sure he really understands what net worth means.

Net worth shouldn’t be a measure of what kind of person you are.  It has nothing to do with how moral or immoral you are or how much money you make.  It doesn’t mean you are any more or less a man than your neighbor or friend.  Net worth is simply a measurement of your finances.  It simply shows you what your financial situation is.  So, I’m not really sure what Rodney’s point is.  I think he meant to say that the amount of money you have isn’t necessarily as important as the kind of person that you are.  My goal in life is to be a good person, help others, and teach my daughter how to be a good person that cares about others and treats others with respect.  At the end of my life, I do hope that people look back at my life and say, “He was a good husband, father, friend, brother, son and citizen”.  I don’t want them to look back at my life and say, “He had a lot of money at the expense of others”.

Maybe what Rodney should consider doing is to come up with a new measurement that can tangibly measure the quality of the person.

If you are like me, you are always looking for simple, yet effective ways to save money.  I’ve spent countless hours surfing websites looking for ways to save the few precious dollars I have.  The title if this site says it all:  Everybody Loves Your Money!  It’s about time you executed on a radical money saving strategy to keep your money from all those blood (aka: money) sucking companies out there.  The ideas below represent 100’s of hours of technical research weighing the risks versus the benefits of each and every recommendation.  All of this done so that YOU can keep your money under your mattress, where it belongs.  (Note: Emigrant Direct pays a higher interest rate than your mattress.  It may be worth a consideration)

Stop using illegal drugs:
Now, before you get upset at me and ask how anyone could possibly pull this one off, give me a sec. There are many FREE programs out there to help you kick the habit. The reasons for quitting are plentiful. Besides the fact that drugs can kill you, consider this: The government puts a lot of money in to arresting and prosecuting drug dealers and users. If you get caught, you could end up doing more time than a homicidal maniac. A huge reason to quit today is how much it’s impacting your net worth. Most drug habits can easily cause you to spend more money than you make each month. Before long, you might find yourself resorting to charging your drugs on a credit card, and we all know that’s a slippery slope.

Stop Gambling:
I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but most gamblers lose their money. Have you seen the rather large casinos in Las Vegas? They didn’t get to be that big on loans from the small business administration. Sure, every now and then, when the lottery gets over a few million, people like to buy a ticket. Have you checked the odds on that? It’s not very good. And every dollar you spend on a lottery ticket will force you to put -$1.00 towards your net worth. Most other forms of gambling aren’t such a good deal either. Slot machines? Naaah. Cut out the middle man and just hand your money to someone sitting next to you in the casino. Again, if you aren’t careful, you may find yourself taking out cash advances from your credit card to try to shift your luck at the poker table. Slippery slope.

Sell everything you own and move in to the hills:
Of course, this idea does require a bit of sacrifice, but for many, this could be just the answer they were looking for. Assuming you own more than you owe, you could take the difference and go hide in the hills. More than a few people have lived off the land. Think pre-20th century. Now, sure you may have to buy a cow and a few chickens, but the beauty of this is that you can teach them to have chicks. Pretty soon you could find yourself selling truckloads of chickens at the market. Think big.

Eat one meal a day:
If you are like me, you could probably afford to miss a meal or two. Let’s go with two. If you only eat once a day, and keep the portions small, you could save a ton of money. I’m talking 2/3rd’s of your food budget. Take that difference and dollar cost average in an index mutual fund and you could be sitting pretty in retirement. And by the time you hit retirement, you’ll be so used to living on so little food, that you won’t need nearly as much money.

Stop buying things:
Rather than buy everything you need, try borrowing all of it from your friends and family. You’d be amazed at what they have stored under their stairs, in their garages, in the shed, etc. Let someone else take the hit for all the things you need on a regular basis. If you are nice, they may even give you a key to come get the things yourself. That saves a ton of time. If you can’t find someone that has what you need to borrow, your next best bet would be a thrift store. Most people get tired of storing all the things that they’ve spent their money on, so they take them to the second hand store. Sure, you have to pay a few dollars to the thrift store lady, but it’s better than paying full price for a new one. Be sure to tell your friends and family that they should not take anything else to the thrift stores because you may need to borrow it at some point.

Save a Bunch of Money on your Car Insurance:
Now, before you call the gecko, let me explain. Car insurance is for suckers. In fact, owning your own car is just plain crazy. Here’s what you do. You know that friend of yours that has three cars, but only has two drivers? Think of him as an opportunity! Stop by his place and offer to take him to dinner. Nothing fancy. Just a burrito, or a burger is fine. (Obviously, make him drive). Once dinner is over, ask him if he’d mind if you drive his extra car once in awhile. Point out that letting a car sit so much is bad on the tires. The fluids in the engine need to circulate in order to be effective. Trust me, he’ll bite. (Hint: It never hurts to smile a lot during the dinner. I’ve found that can really lighten the mood)

Stop Buying Items from People Who Come to Your Door:
Attention: Things that are sold door to door tend not to be the best value around. Magazine subscriptions? If you buy them from some kid at your door, you should be able to claim them as a donation on your taxes. $35 for a magazine subscription? Instead, send half that amount to the Katrina fund and then just go pick up a Little Nickel Classified Ad near the door at your local grocery store. Every now and then you can find someone that has put in a really funny ad! “For Sale: My tractor. It’s old, it’s broke but it still looks real perty. $4000.”

Stop all Newspaper Subscriptions Now:
Okay. You’ve got a couple choices here. Have you ever noticed that when you go out and pick up your paper in your driveway, that your neighbors all have papers in their driveway too? Now, before you get all morally sound on me, hear me out. This is where you can take the high road, or the low road. I don’t endorse either method. Don’t try to sue me if it doesn’t work out. Option 1: Rather than get your own paper, just get up extra early. (I’m talking 4:30 am). Grab your neighbor’s paper, read it and have it back in their driveway by 6:30. Times can vary depending on your neighbor’s habits. Option 2: Just take the paper all together. It seems like half the time they never read it anyway. (Note: This might not work out very well because sooner or later they’ll realize they have been paying for the paper but haven’t received it. It’s your call. If they are out of control on their spending, aka the Jones’, they may not even notice). Now there is a third option, but it’s not for the faint of heart. If your community recycles, you are looking at a goldmine. On garbage day, once all your neighbors have put out their recycling bins, take a wheelbarrow around and just grab the papers you want. Don’t worry about the news being old. In the old days it took weeks for people to hear about newsworthy events. You are waaaay ahead of them. Statistically, there are probably AT LEAST three different newspapers being delivered to different houses on your street. That’s a lot of reading. You may not even have time for all of them.

Turn Off All your Lights:
You know what? We just simply use too much electricity. 60 watts to light up the area you are in? Most of the world gets by with a lot less. You can save a TON of money if you simply quit turning on the lights in your house. Candles can be found VERY cheap at Walmart, Target, or other discount stores. I recommend just leaving the candles burning during those times that you absolutely need light, such as while you are cooking with hot pans, or slicing an onion with a very sharp knife. You get the picture. Again, it’s a judgment call on your part. If you use Ginzu knives, I’d recommend two candles. I think you’ll find mornings are when this strategy really starts to pay dividends. Have you ever woke up in the morning and turned on a light, only to be blinded by the near overpowering effects of 1, 2, or 3 60 watt light bulbs? It takes valuable seconds off your life as your eyes adjust to the bright light. Good news. You won’t have that problem if you implement this simple candle strategy. (Bonus: You’ll feel warm and fuzzy taking a shower in a lovely candle lit room.)

Stop Using So Much Toilet Paper:

Are you one of those people that spins the roll like you are on Wheel of Fortune?  Why are you spinning it so fast?  Vanna isn’t going to give you a letter on this one.  Slow it down.  There are very few times that more than three squares are needed.  If you are living in the 90210 zip code and can afford two ply, you may be able to squeak by with two squares.  The trick here is not to eat too much fiber.

Don’t Use ANY Toilet Paper At All:

If you just can’t bring yourself to clean up the business with only a couple squares of two ply toilet paper, then think outside the buns.  I’m sure you, like me, get all kinds of junk mail and free local newspapers delivered to your home.  Most people just throw these out with the garbage.  That’s like throwing away FREE money.  Did you know that this kind of paper can be surprisingly soft if you get it damp?  I wouldn’t recommend this method for a newborn’s skin, but certainly it’s good enough for you and me.

Stop Using Your Cel Phone:

Cel phone calls can be expensive!  If you are like me, you find yourself around other people ALL the time and every one of those people has a cel phone.  Instead of placing a call with your cel phone, I recommend using the “never fails” line of, “Hey, can I use your cel phone real quick?  I left mine at home”.  Note: Make sure that you turn the ringer down on your cel phone so it doesn’t start ringing after you’ve done this.

Drink More Coffee:

I don’t know if you have noticed this or not but you can get 4-5 pots of coffee out of one coffee filter and the same coffee grounds.  The trick on this one is to drink the stronger coffee (from the first two pots) earlier in the morning when you really need the extra horsepower.  Save the weak stuff until later in the afternoon when you really shouldn’t be drinking coffee anyway.

I’m now offering free subscriptions to ELYM.  Okay, they’ve always been free and I don’t think for a second that you would want to pay simply to add ELYM’s content to your newsreader, but heck, you just might have a real gem delivered to your newsreader one of these days.  You never know.  So, if you haven’t already, consider adding ELYM to your newreader.  You can do so by simply clicking the button below:

Or, click on the relevant icon below to add to your reader:

Mary Winkler, who is on trial for killing her husband was apparently overdrawn by about $5,000 in one of her accounts.  Additionally, she had tried to deposit checks from another bank account that didn’t have the funds to pay those checks.  I didn’t realize that they called that “kiting checks”.  The banker warned her that kiting checks was illegal and could result in criminal charges but apparently Mary was probably a little more worried about other criminal charges that were about to happen.

I don’t know why I’m watching this story, but I do find the circumstances interesting.  No one should ever take another person’s life (obviously).  Our nation seems to have become the “excuse” capital of the world.  ‘Well, I did do it, but if you understood the position I was in, you’d understand why it’s okay that I stood over my husband and killed him”.  If she was unhappy, or felt threatened, or felt like her marriage was over, she should have left.  Okay, enough controversy for one day.

The last paragraph was interesting.  It says that she had been cashing fraudulent checks that had been sent to her by con artists from overseas.  I really have to wonder if the stress of being conned played in to her mental state.

Link to Cnn Article